


Search for Pleasure, Search for Pain

by fortunata13



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Love, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:24:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortunata13/pseuds/fortunata13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU of Unbroken in which Cara is convinced that the world has changed but no one believes her. Every night, in her dreams, she returns to a life in the ancient Midlands in which she and Kahlan are lovers. It's all driving her crazy so, eventually, she sets out to reunite with the Kahlan of her current reality. Much sex, feelings, angst, and fluff ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Search for Pleasure, Search for Pain

Red satin sheets and the smell of sex, that’s her life these days. The million-dollar view speaks to her success as does the opulence of her surroundings. This is what making it looks like, no doubt about it. High ceilings, expensive artwork on the walls, and every imaginable amenity serves to attest that she’s somebody now. Yet, as she leans against the parapet, wearing only loose fitting white silk pajamas, she wonders what it would feel like to hurl her body forward and allow gravity to act upon her. It would be so easy to make it all stop, to put an end to three years of agony.  
  
“Come in,” she says, having expected the knock on the door. It opens to reveal a platinum blonde still wearing last night’s dress, flanked by two burly men who tower over her.  
  
“Cara,” she says, “a phone call or an email would have sufficed if you wanted the pleasure of my company. There was no need for your goons.”  
  
The smirk on Cara’s face is the product of having predicted the reaction to her rather forceful invitation. “Don’t be mad, Denna, I thought having my associates escort you would serve to emphasize my eagerness to see you.”  
  
“What do you want? And why the hell do you want it at this ungodly hour? You know my business calls for late nights.” Even as annoyed as she is, she pauses to take in the surroundings, and the not at all unpleasant sight of her old friend’s hard nipples, fully visible through the thin fabric, staring up at her. “Tell me, am I here for business or pleasure?” she asks, running her knuckles up and down one of Cara’s nipples, then letting her hand linger on it, caressing.  
  
“Mmm, perhaps some other time,” she says, shamelessly leaning into the touch. “What I need from you today, is a way in.” Denna rolls her eyes, knowing exactly what Cara wants.  
  
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Cara, you’re not back to that again, are you? It’s been three fucking years. Let it go already.” She throws her arms up and gestures around the room. “Look at what you’ve accomplished. You, a Mord’Sith, practically own Aydindril. No more queens and lords, Cara, money is everything these days, and you have plenty of it. Why do you insist on obsessing over something that never happened?”  
  
Cara doesn’t bother arguing her point, she can’t. “I need to see her, Denna. This thing is killing me.” Her old friend –– sometimes nemesis, sometimes lover –– turns her head for a moment, that’s when she sees it, an agiel on the bed.  
  
“Are you really this far gone?” she asks. Cara doesn’t answer. She knows the penalty for a Mord’Sith having an agiel is life in prison but the pain is the only thing that gets her through the day. “Fine, I’ll get you in, but it’s going to cost you fifty grand.” Cara opens her desk drawer and pulls out five stacks of bills. It’s done.  
  
The Rahl brothers are having a party and Denna is providing the entertainment. “I’ll get you in with the rest of my girls but once you’re inside, you’ll go straight upstairs. The Lady Rahl doesn’t mingle. As usual, she asked that a pretty little blonde thing be waiting in her room.” She puts the cash in her purse and starts to leave but turns back for a moment. “If anyone recognizes you, the cops will be finding your body for days.”   
  
It doesn’t matter, Cara thinks to herself, she hasn’t been living anyway. There’s a different girl in her bed every night –– sometimes more than one –– but none of them can erase the memories. It was a dream, three years ago, that started all of this. She’s tied to a tree in a forest and the world starts to spin, flashes of an entire life, and she’s there, Kahlan Amnell, tears running down her face. That’s when it all came back to her. The old wizard, he did something that changed the world but no one else remembers, no one believes her. Every night, in her dreams, she goes back to that strange world in which the Mother Confessor is hers, but it’s not enough, not anymore.  
  
  
***  
  
“Cara,” Denna says, grabbing her wrist as she’s about to get out of the limo, “be prepared for a hit to your self-esteem. Not a single one of my girls has lived up to her standards.” Cara isn’t worried, night after night she makes the Confessor scream and writhe with pleasure. As the limo pulls away, Denna rolls down her window and says, “She keeps the Rada’Han in the top drawer of her nightstand, on the right. Meet me back here at 3 AM.”   
  
Then she’s there, in Kahlan Amnell’s private chambers, waiting. The lights are dimmed and the distant sound of music seeps in from the party downstairs. She’d been a nervous wreck all day but now there’s an eerie calmness about her. It feels almost as if the entire world is holding its breath, standing perfectly still, waiting for Kahlan Amnell to make her entrance.  
  
The door opens and there she stands, beautiful porcelain skin and delicate features shimmering under the soft lights. The scene is more dream-like than her actual dreams, Cara thinks to herself. For a moment she can’t decide which of the two is real, the world she drifts into every night or the one that stands before her.   
  
“Aren’t you a pretty little thing?” she says, raking her eyes over the blonde. “Denna’s taste is definitely improving.” Then she looks into her eyes, trying to read her. She can’t, of course, but she does notice that this one is different from the others. That cold emptiness that is so prevalent in working girls –– especially Mord’Siths –– is absent in this one. These green eyes are intense and alert, they scream of desire, passion even. Kahlan’s heart is suddenly thumping; this could turn out to be a very good night for her.  
“Tell me, pretty little thing, what’s your name?” She tucks a stray lock of hair behind Cara’s ear and strokes her cheek with her thumb.  
  
Cara’s breath catches in her throat. Any doubts she may have had are erased the moment she feels Kahlan’s touch. “Cara,” she replies.  
  
“Cara,” Kahlan echoes. “It means face in Spanish, and yours is certainly a pretty one. In Italian they say, ‘cara mia’. It’s a term of endearment. Perhaps that’s what I’ll call you.” With that, she steps behind her and slides her hands down the sides of Cara’s body until they come to rest on her hips. “Let’s have a look at you, Cara mia,” she says, and presses the front of her body against Cara’s back so that she can reach around to unbutton her blouse, all the while resting her chin on the Mord’Sith’s shoulder so that she can look down the front of her body. Cara closes her eyes and allows all of her weight to rest on Kahlan. When she’s done with the buttons, Kahlan lets her hand rest on Cara’s taut belly, and buries her face in Cara’s hair for a moment. “Mmm, I certainly hope you taste as good as you smell, Cara mia.”  
  
Cara turns around in her arms so that they are facing each other. “Decide for yourself,” she says, pulling her into a passionate kiss, her tongue thoroughly exploring Kahlan’s mouth. It caught the Confessor off guard but it takes her less than a beat to catch up. “Will I do?” Cara asks with a smirk on her face, once they break the kiss. Kahlan’s breathing is a bit labored and her lips are kiss-swollen already. It’s a good look on her, Cara thinks to herself.  
  
“It’s too early to tell, Cara mia. Take the rest of your clothes off for me.” She raises an eyebrow, sits back on an arm chair, and waits. Cara does as she’s told, then walks over to stand inches away from her. “Very nice, Cara mia.”  With a hand on her ass, she draws Cara closer and dips her head to lick her navel. It’s the musky scent of Cara’s arousal that makes her mouth go dry. She’s usually more disciplined then this, especially with whores, but this one is far more intriguing than the others have been. Without thinking, she finds herself sliding two fingers between the Mord’Sith’s dripping folds. Cara arcs her body into them but Kahlan quickly withdraws them. “You’ll do quite well, Cara mia, quite well.”  
  
Kahlan stands up, and with a shrug of her shoulders, the silk dress she’s wearing pools at her feet. Cara takes her hands in her own and helps her step out of it. “You’re beautiful,” she murmurs into Kahlan's ear. She’s heard such words from working girls before, but the way this one said it makes her shiver.   
  
“Such passion, Cara mia. Tell me, do you talk this way to all your Janes?” Her voice falters a bit and her hands are trembling but she does her best to appear calm.  
  
Cara licks her lips and thinks for a moment. “You’re no one’s Jane. If anyone was foolish enough to treat you as such, I certainly hope they paid for it with their life.” She then lifts Kahlan’s hands to her mouth and gently kisses the center of each palm –– her eyes never leaving Kahlan’s. Kahlan feels those kisses directly between her thighs, but also in the middle of her chest. That was a lover’s gesture, not a whore’s. The whimper it elicits from her speaks as to how much it moved her. Kahlan Amnell is not one to whimper. Ever.  
  
Once they are on the bed, Kahlan leaves no doubt as to who’s in charge. In less than a heartbeat, Cara is flat on her back, with one of Kahlan’s knees rocking against her clit, and her tongue is delving fervently into Cara’s mouth. Cara is Mord’Sith, and at this moment Kahlan is her mistress so she’ll allow it –– for now. This is how it is in that other world as well, the one she sees in her dreams every night.   
  
“I like you like this, Cara mia, writhing and moaning beneath me, so delicious.” Her mouth makes its way down to Cara’s nipple and she’s licking and sucking and biting –– moan after moan leaves Cara’s lips. “You’re close, aren’t you, Cara mia?” She asks, leaving hot, wet kisses in her wake as she makes her way down to Cara’s clean-shaven sex. She sinks her teeth into the soft flesh of her thighs then soothes it with her tongue. A second later, she’s there, her tongue teasing at Cara’s entrance. She looks up, only to find hungry eyes looking back at her. She then devours Cara’s sex relentlessly, drinking up every bit of her arousal. The Confessor sucks and nibbles on Cara’s swollen clit, losing herself in the liquid heat that pours out of her. Cara comes bucking into her mouth but Kahlan doesn’t let up. It’s too good, the taste of this Mord’Sith, the passion in her eyes, the way she says Kahlan’s name over and over, almost like a prayer. She’s not willing to give it up, not yet.  
  
“Come for me again, Cara mia.” It’s a plea, dripping with desire and something that sounds almost like longing. It doesn’t take much for Cara to come undone again, this time with four fingers buried deep in her cunt, and Kahlan watching as her breasts heave, trying to suck air back into her lungs. Kahlan has fucked plenty of whores before but not like this, never like this.   
  
Cara’s completely spent but it isn’t long before she’s looking up at Kahlan with those hungry eyes again, and gliding up her body. Already aching for release, Kahlan reaches for the Rada’Han in her drawer. The mere sight of it causes Cara to grimace. “No, not yet, please,” she says.  
  
The Confessor doesn’t know what to make of the request. Surely a Mord’Sith would be particularly diligent about collaring her. It’s the look in Cara’s eyes that makes it impossible for her to refuse. “Just for a moment,” Kahlan finally says. Cara sucks her pulse point and lavishes her entire neck with licks and kisses as if trying to make up for the unsightly piece of metal that will mar her lovely skin. All the while she’s kneading her breasts and tugging at her nipples. Kahlan’s body responds to the attention with low moans and various other sounds of pleasure. “The Rada’Han, Cara mia, I need you inside me,” she says. Cara swallows hard and narrows her eyes for a minute but finally puts it around her neck.  
   
She slowly slides her hands down Kahlan’s body, watching as Kahlan’s eyes darken into black pools of desire. Kahlan spreads her legs and tilts up her pelvis to hasten the process. She’s panting and sinking her teeth into her own lower lip, then finally grabs Cara’s wrist with no small amount of force, placing it exactly where it’s needed. “Cara mia, please,” she says.  
  
Cara plunges three fingers into her center and quickly falls into a familiar rhythm, the same one that always drives Kahlan over the edge in that other world, the world in which she spends her nights. Kahlan moans and arches into her hand, taking her in deeper and deeper. “Spirits, Cara mia, it’s as if you were born to fuck me,” she breathes out.  
  
It isn’t long before her head is thrown back and she’s riding Cara’s hand on the verge of release. That’s when Cara reaches up with her free hands and does it, she unlocks the Rada’Han and holds on to Kahlan as both her orgasm and her magic explode into wave after wave of pleasure. Cara can feel the magic pulsating through every cell in her body just as it does every night. Kahlan feels it too and she panics, but it’s too late. There is no stopping it. Kahlan cries out her name over and over. It’s with a mixture of exhaustion and despair that she finally collapses onto the bed, reaching for Cara’s hand. The Mord’Sith kisses her eyelids, her cheeks, and finally her lips.  
   
“It isn’t possible,” Kahlan breathes out, looking into bright green eyes that, by now, should be completely black, and a body that should lifeless. “What are you?” Kahlan asks, still unable to make sense of it.  
  
Cara lies alongside her and says, “I’m yours.”  
  
“Mia,” Kahlan says. “It means mine, in both Spanish and Italian.”   
  
She doesn’t understand any of what just happened, but she wants more. The release of her magic combined with such a powerful orgasm is something she’s never experienced before. She shifts her position so that she’s straddling Cara’s waist, and the Mord’Sith responds by tightly gripping Kahlan’s hips and dragging her up her body so that she’s straddling her face. Cara plunges her tongue into her, and the feel of it has Kahlan’s arousal gushing out of her and dripping down Cara’s chin. “Cara mia,” she says, “how did I ever live without you?” She grinds herself hard against Cara’s face and comes a second time and then a third, the Rada’Han discarded on the floor, and Denna standing at the door looking down at it.  
  
“How the fuck?” she blurts out. Kahlan looks back at her over her shoulder, eyes completely black. Cara quickly slides out from under her and jumps to her feet. Kahlan is still gasping for air, and not at all happy about the interruption. ”You were supposed to be in the limo almost two hours ago. Security will do a sweep in five minutes. If they realize we’re still here, we’re both dead.”  
  
Cara looks back at Kahlan, not knowing what to do. “Go,” Kahlan says. Cara rushes back to the bed and pulls her into a deep passionate kiss. Denna rolls her eyes and reaches down to pick up Cara’s clothes off the floor.  
  
“Can we please get the fuck out of here?” Denna asks. She quickly gets dressed and they rush out the door. Kahlan’s head is spinning and her heart is pounding. The only thing she knows for sure is that she needs to see her again.  
  
***  
  
“You fucked her without the Rada’Han. Are you crazy?”  
  
“I fuck her without it every night, Denna. I’m hers and she’s mine. How can she take what’s already hers?” Cara asks, resting her forehead on the car window.  
  
“You do realize that it was just some crazy fluke? Listen very carefully, Cara, dreams are not real,” she drawls out.  
  
Cara shakes her head and chuckles. “Denna, you saw her come in my mouth without the Rada’Han. Trust me, it wasn’t a fluke. She came for me three times.” Denna clenches her fists, wanting nothing more than to pound the self-satisfied smirk off of Cara’s face.  
  
“Get out,” Denna says when the driver pulls up in front of the building. She watches as Cara disappears into the elevator and shuts her eyes.  
  
  
***  
  
“Denna, my dear, it’s been far too long,” the wizard says, patting her on the back. “You’re as lovely as ever.”  
  
“It’s good to see you, old man. I knew I’d find you throwing back beers for breakfast.” Zedd chuckles, not bothering to deny it.  
  
He stares at her for a long moment, knowing that her visit can only be about one of two people, or maybe about both. Denna has two monkeys on her back that have owned her for years, Cara Mason and Richard Rahl. Love has been bitch slapping her since she laid eyes on them, and the bitch doing the slapping is one Kahlan Amnell. She’s in love with both Richard and Cara, and the two of them are in love with Kahlan.  
  
“So tell me,” he finally says, “is this about my grandson or about that ill-tempered Mord’Sith you can’t seem to stay away from?”  
  
 Denna snorts and shakes her head. “You know me too well, old man.” She lets out a deep sigh and considers what exactly to say next. “It’s about Cara. I saw something last night that should not be possible and you’re the only one who can maybe explain it.”  
  
The wizard is afraid of what comes next, and if it were anyone other than Denna, he’d lie or maybe walk away, but the two of them are strangely fond of each other. She feels more like family than Richard does these days. “What would you like to know?”  
  
“That thing Cara’s been going on about for years, about you changing the world somehow, is it true?”  
  
“Would you believe me if I told you that it wasn’t?” The blonde doesn’t answer. “It was another time, Denna, another world. I thought I was doing the right thing, now I don’t know anymore.”  
  
“What did you do?” she asks, anger rising into her chest.  
  
“A spell. Darken, he’d taken hold of Cara with insidious magic, the likes of which even I could not reverse. Kahlan was inconsolable. The two of them had fallen madly in love. It broke Richard’s heart but he cared for them both so he found a way to live with it.”  
  
Denna shakes her head, and says “So Cara’s been right all along.”  
  
“I cast a spell on Cara to undo the damage Darken had done. I didn’t want to but Kahlan, she…” he trails off. “It was much more powerful than I ever imagined. It didn’t just change Cara back, it changed the world.”  
  
“And Richard, does he know?” she asks, the wheels in her head already turning.  
  
“When I told him he thought I’d lost my mind. But deep down, he knew it was true. It’s what made him keep such a tight grip on Kahlan, to try to control her to such an extent that he lost her.” He stared out into nothing, wondering what Denna had seen that finally led her to ask, but in the end he knew it didn’t really matter. The truth was finally out.  
  
***  
  
“Open the fucking door,” Denna demands, banging on Cara’s door after twenty minutes of ringing the doorbell.  
  
Cara finally crawls out of bed and opens it –– completely naked. “Did something happen to Kahlan?” she asks, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.  
  
Denna glares at her, and shoves past her into the apartment. “No, your precious Confessor and those gorgeous tits of hers are fine.”  
  
“What do you want, Denna?” Cara plunks down on the sofa waiting for an answer.  
  
“Oh I want lots of things,” she says, taking in the great view Cara’s decidedly unladylike seated position is providing. Without missing a beat, Cara slides forward and spreads her legs even more. “I fucking hate you, you know,” Denna says, licking her lips. She walks over and runs her fingers through Cara’s folds. “You’d probably be dripping wet if it were her standing here.”  
  
“You’re probably right,” Cara says, covering Denna’s hand with her own and pressing it hard against her clit. That’s all the encouragement Denna needs. She drops to her knees and buries her face between Cara’s thighs, digging her nails into Cara’s hips. She knows Cara’s allowing it because of what happened last night, but she tastes too good, and it’s been far too long so she’ll take it anyway. Cara’s hand is cupping the back of her head, urging her closer. Having spent most of her youth on her knees, between Denna’s legs, she always enjoys the role reversal that’s come about in recent years. Your pet always becomes your master, or mistress in this case, Cara thinks to herself.  
  
“Good girl,” Cara says, “I’d forgotten how good you are at this.” She comes with a low grunt, arching and grinding into Denna’s eager mouth, then throws her head back on the sofa. Denna licks her clean and then takes Cara’s clit between her lips, swirling her tongue around it for a couple of seconds. “Mmm, very nice,” Cara says, enjoying the familiar technique she hasn’t experienced in quite a while. Denna hates that she loves fucking Cara so much but there is no denying it, nothing in this world compares to the thrill of Cara coming in her mouth. Cara pulls her up and kisses her roughly, sucking her own arousal off Denna’s tongue.  
  
“I really do hate you,” Denna says, still laboring to breathe.  
  
“So, aside from the morning snack, why are you here?” Cara asks, with a cocky smirk on her face.  
  
“Does she love you?”  
  
Cara is taken aback by the question but she doesn’t hesitate. “Of course she does.” The Kahlan she spent the night with hadn’t said as much but the one in her dreams has said it at least a thousand times. Cara can’t really tell the difference anymore, not after last night. “What’s this about, Denna?”  
  
“If I bring her to you, will the two of you leave here and never come back?” Denna asks.  
  
It takes her a moment but Cara finally realizes what Denna’s plotting. “Get rid of Kahlan and go after Richard, it’s a good plan. But what about Nicci? Since Kahlan kicked him out of her bed, she’s gotten her hooks into him pretty deep.”  
  
“Oh, I can handle that psychotic bitch with one hand tied behind my back,” Denna assures her.  
  
Cara stares out of the window for a moment, mentally planning her next move. “Give me two days. I’ll liquidate my assets and have my plane ready for takeoff,” she finally says.  
  
Denna nods and starts to leave but stops, and without turning to look at her says, “Or, you know, we could play it differently.” She shuts her eyes for a moment, knowing she can’t win this one but she has to give it a shot. “It could be the two of us who blow this town for good. Fuck the Rahl brothers and the Confessor. It was us, baby, way before them. It can be that way again.”   
  
Cara walks up behind her and presses the front of her body against Denna’s back and wraps her arm around her waist. She knows why Denna can’t look at her. “You taught me everything, Denna. A part of me will always ache for you, but I’m hers. I think I always have been, even before I ever laid eyes on her.”  
  
“Suit yourself,” Denna says matter-of-factly, and walks out the door.  
  
***  
  
“So, where would you like to go?” Cara asks, as the pilot readies the jet for takeoff. One of her hands is already in Kahlan’s blouse teasing her nipple.  
  
“Cara mia,” she says, sitting up and pulling Cara into a kiss. “You taste so good in Italian.”  
  
“Florence?” Cara offers, Kahlan nods approvingly.  
  
“Set course for Florence, Nick,” she tells the pilot over the intercom.  
  
Cara kisses her again and says, “We’ll join the mile high club in about an hour.”  
  
Kahlan takes Cara’s hand and slips it between her legs, she’s already dripping wet. “Cara mia, you’ll fuck me on the runway and we’ll join the mile high club after I’ve come for you, and you for me.”  
  
Cara purses her lips and nods, “Yeah, your plan is definitely better.”


End file.
